The PM thing is a meme. Taking it at doses that will be "effective" will also be effective at fucking you up in all sorts of ways. It is a big scam.
If you are too scared to start real HrT just get some weak blocker like finasteride or dutasteride. This will only block DhT but for some people you are gonna need to do that and sooner the better.
You can get anti androgens and estrogen for a reasonable price off of alldaychemist. If your reason for not being on hrt is you are young, embarrassed, or don't have support, then ordering experimental drugs is probably not a viable option.
You could always "man-up" and just come out as bi, tg, or confused to your guardians and talk to a doctor about trying some hrt.
What you need to be strongly aware of is the importance of keeping a realistic outlook. Whether you are 16 or 25 and trying to start hormones, be realistic with yourself about what your results would be. If you aren't already fem you don't have great chances of having miraculous results, just look at reddit transtimeliens and ask yourself if you want to be a completely delusional non passing man in a dress? I am not attempting to shame or discourage, just saying you need to be realistic.
You should also seek out if you can, at a place like 4chan/lgbt, an infographic showing many post-op mtf trans throughout the past decades disclosing the reality of SRS and how in the end it was not worth it, ruined their body, their sex life, their relationships, and generally their life. It is better to be a cd/trap/femboy than to chemically or physically completely castrate yourself. You may be able to preserve your youth/femminess/whatever for a few years, but you cannot postpone aging forever and you need to get real with yourself about what kind of life you want to live when you're much older, nobody wants to be a fucking tranny freak alienated from their family and friends with nothing but other tranny freaks to console you when you're 45.
This fetish is primarily caused by personal failure to self actualize into a functioning member of society. I'm not saying their are no trans/gay/bi/femboy professionals, I'm just saying in general, the massive take off in interest over this stuff cannot be seperated from the advent of internet culture, massive amounts of pornography bombarding you daily, and you likely ended up here because of a porn addiction that lead you down the endorphin/serotonin rabbit hole where you eventually were only turned on by more and more taboo content, ending up here.
I enjoy crossdressing and often wonder how I would have been had I started hormones a long time ago, or if I started today. But I also have a girlfriend, am not living in my parents house, and realize that past about the age of 35-40 the prospect of growing old as a fake girl and never having even a chance at my own family would be incredibly miserable.
It is fine to have a fetish, but don't let it consume your life. The culture of HrT acceptance is just a big sink of inept men who are willing to fucking sterilize themselves for maybe an extra decade of entertaining their fetish.
I say this all with much love and understanding, as someone who identifies as AGP and has struggled with pornography addiction.